So you're going to kill your husband...

 

I’m not a violent person, I’ve never punched anyone or been involved in a brawl. But lately I really feel like I could stick a knife into my husband without feeling a shred of guilt!

 

Cue horror film music!

Those of you who aren’t quite on the same wavelength as me might think the poor bloke has done something awful; potentially cheated, called me names or worse but actually he’s just being a man.

My biggest bug bear at the moment is that he hasn’t quit smoking. This has been a huge argument between us for some time, we both smoked when we met but I quit pretty early on and even though I used to enjoy the odd drunken cigarette, I would never consider having one during the day (or 20 for that matter!) Back when I used to smoke, cigarettes were approximately £4 for 20, my husband now spends up to £7 a day on cigarettes. Let me break that down for you:

 

£49 a Week

£196 a Month

£2352 a Year

 

But the biggest concern I have of course is his health. I am absolutely terrified of my husband going to an early grave, (Ironic, given that I now want to kill him!) he is my absolute life and I was convinced when we did have a baby he would give up without a minute’s thought. But sadly no and now every time I smell that awful stink on him I get so angry that he would expose his pregnant wife and unborn child to it.

 

But seriously, that’s about the only rational reason I’m angry.

 

I think my main problem is how I viewed pregnancy. In my head, I’d look as graceful as Kate Middleton, glow like the Mediterranean sun and my husband would wrap me up in cotton wool for 9 months.

Why don't I look like this?

I imagined him leaving the house at 2am for ice cream and pickles, cooking and cleaning while I lay on the sofa with a blanket and cuddling and kissing me every night with his hands placed on my swollen belly.

 

In reality, the house still needs cleaning, meals still need cooking and shopping still needs doing. And while I used to be able to cut grass and lift mop buckets I just can’t do it at the moment and it’s really frustrating.

 

So if you have any homicidal urges, put down the knife, loosen your grip on hubby’s throat and do the following:

 

1. Take some deep breaths and grab the tissues, once you’ve calmed down you’ll probably cry, and that’s okay!
2. Try and relax over the house, get a cleaner in if you can afford it, and don’t stress over it if you can’t.
3. Talk to your husband (again, grab tissues) explain how you’re feeling and see if there’s any way he can help – even if it’s just a cuddle.
4. Remember it will pass, and very soon you’ll have a bundle of joy in your arms that will make you forget you ever felt like this.